The child's father paused. "Of course not. Why do you ask?"
"I snuck downstairs last night and saw Santa and Mommy, and he looked a lot like you."
The father scowled. "You saw Santa and Mommy... doing what?"
The child blushed, which told the father all he needed to know. He growled, "I bet that was your Uncle Ted. People always said we looked alike."
The child began to pout. "Does that mean Santa isn't real?"
The father grinned. "Of course not, sweetheart. Santa is real... and I'm gonna kill him."
The child was never visited by Santa Claus, or Uncle Ted, again... and needed years of therapy as an adult.