The first one isn't all that original. Yesterday's daily calendar provided the "wraithist" joke about ghosts liking elevators because they "raise their spirits," and when I searched for the Mike Tyson meme, I saw that it'd been used before for similar jokes. Still, this exact combo is unique to me, so here it is.
The next one is made up of two pieces from January 2012's "30 Words, 30 Days, 30 Stories" project. If you've read those, you'll recognize it.
Last one, and the most recent... In fact, I JUST finished it.
And that's all... for now, at least. I have other new (and some not-so-new) Halloween-appropriate story ideas that I think would make great scary and/or funny creepypasta images, so I may post more to Twitter and Facebook. If I don't post here again by Monday night, enjoy your Halloween, and happy haunting!
Once upon a laundry day,
in a shirt that fit when less I weighed,
I washed my clothes iin the laundry room with a cold cemented floor.
And on that shirt that once fit
in black and gray was a portrait
of the brilliant scribe and poet who had died over a century before,
Of the horror legend known to all as Edgar Allan Poe.
Suddenly, hearing wings aflutter,
I glanced upon the window shutter
and thereupon stood a stately raven, like in the poem of Edgar Poe.
Only this and nothing more.
Quoth the raven, "He died poor."
"Who?," I asked, shocked that a bird
could utter more than just one word,
As in the poem by the author that I named before.
Quoth the raven, "The guy on the shirt you wore.
Please put it back on, I implore."
"I can't. It's laundry day," I said.
The raven then turned its feathered head
And with closed eyes said, "I made Poe,
A writer like you, but long ago,
And he had naught for his work to show
except an ego that was sore,
that type you'll have for evermore."
I asked, "How do you know I'm a writer, too?"
Quoth the raven, "I follow you,
I read your tweets (It's what birds do),
and frankly I find your plugs a bore.
And do they generate any sales
of Relic and your Halloween Tales?"
And so I said, "Not anymore.
I make a lousy book seller, you see."
Qoth the raven, "Listen to me,
Bring back the book The Odic Touch,which had readers wanting an encore."
"Then what?" Quoth the raven, "Write some more."
"But what about my writer's block?"
Qoth the raven, "That's a crock.
Youre writing now, so write some more.
Unless you want to be like Poe,
Who died broke so long ago."
I quoted the poem, "Nevermore."
Quoth the raven, "No one likes a smart ass bore."
Then the raven flew off the shutter,
"Damn psycho pills," I did mutter,
But thought of what the raven said before,
About how I, too, may die poor.
And now I'm finally deciding
to return to novel writing,
After Halloween, if not before.
And as for my dreaded writer's block,
Whether or not it is a crock,
Shall I hide behind it, I hope, nevermore.
I hate begging people to buy my books. (You say "advertising," I say "begging.") So I thought of a way to make it fun: writing poetry about it. Because writing is the easy part; selling is hard. It feels too much like work!
In case you missed the one I wrote for National Poetry Day, it was a limerick that went something like this:
"My novel's main character is Relic,
Who's an actor, not unlike Tom Selleck.
He flips on Halloween.
Its reviews say it's keen,
This has been my lame effort to sell it."
(Here's the link if you want to buy it:
But now I've been thinking of other poetic pitches. Here's one for The Odic Touch, with apologies to The Miser Brothers, whose song was originally written by Maury Laws and Jules Bass for the 1974 Rankin-Bass stop-motion animated special The Year Without A Santa Claus:
"I'm Mr. Roy Hudson, I like to create.
My first book's cheap on Smashwords,
With coupon BP38A!
It's about psychic vampires, whomever they clutch
Weaken in The Odic Touch.
99c? Not too much!"
(Buy it for $0.99 with the above coupon code, BP38A, at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/82282 )
And since Halloween Tales is also on sale... and features a Halloween poem inside, here's a sales-pitch Haiku:
"Read Halloween Tales
for a frightfully good time!
...And even a rhyme."
(You can get Halloween Tales, also for 99c with coupon code JC93U, here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/96714 )
That's it for now... I had previously written a poem for the Now, Dasher saga, but it's too early for Christmas. We have to get past Halloween first! I hope you enjoyed reading these poems (not the same thing as ads, mind you) as much as I enjoyed writing them!
According to what's trending on Twitter, National Poetry Day is today (10/06). Hey! It's also Mad Hatter Day! I should share my Mad Hatter poem! So... here it is:
Blog of author Roy Hudson..